DETROIT (WXYZ) — Cara Wesch got the heartbreaking call while out of state. Her dad’s fight with both cancer and Parkinson’s disease simultaneously was ending.
He wanted to see his grandson, 2-year-old Whitaker. Wesch and Whitaker got on a plane and rushed to see him.
“He knew he was coming to say goodbye to his grandfather and my dad knew that as well,” Wesch said.
She says she felt shocked when security at the Veteran Affairs Medical Center in Detroit wouldn’t let her son in late Monday night. They told her children under 12 are only allowed in the hospice unit. While her dad received hospice care, he had not been moved yet to a hospice room.
Wesch had to coordinate child care and find a way get her son in the care of a relative before she could go see her dad. When she got there he asked to see his grandson.
“I was just in such shock that he was going to pass without seeing his grandson,” she said.
She knew her dad’s time would be short but left to care for her son and returned in the morning. Seventy-year-old Dennis Heitman of Dearborn Heights, once a strong Army veteran who served in Vietnam, was too weak to speak.
“I asked again, 'Can he see his grandson?' And they said, no again,” she said.
The nurses told her they had made calls but could not reach the person who could approve it.
“I was able to talk with him and pray with him and sing to him as he was transitioning. It was so difficult. And I am struggling with so much guilt because I wasn’t allowed to bring those two together. And it really was his wish,” she said.
Her dad took his last breath around 3:45 p.m. Tuesday. Wesch got word after her dad died that the manager who could give permission for her son to visit finally granted it.
The VA Detroit Health Care System told 7 Action News that staff followed medical center guidance on visitor restrictions but also says it's reviewing processes to respond to families faster.
“We want to apologize for the time it took to process the family’s request to be allowed access to see their loved one,” the health care system said.
Wesch says she is sharing her story knowing nothing can be fixed for her, hoping the story serves others. She wants her story to inspire any place that has end-of-life care to ensure it has processes that allow family members young and old to be there for the people they love.
“We would all want to be with our family when that time comes. I hope other people get that because to not get that is brutal,” Wesch said.
